What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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