U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
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