i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
