not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Randomize
