I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
