stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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