your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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