Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
