Porn is love you can see.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
So many bounce houses so little time
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Randomize
