I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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