I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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