Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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