Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
