I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
