yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
are you so shy because you have an std?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
There r osticjed everywhere
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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