my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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