can we get nightvision for the apartment?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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