that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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