don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
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If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
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They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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