he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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