I just threw up on my dentist
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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