Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Randomize
