I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
