living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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