On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
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