ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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