I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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