Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
