i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Randomize
