I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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