i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
porn star boner night. come get it.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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