Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
