I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Sponge bath it is.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
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