Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
