hotel room ftw
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
