it wasn't lemon gatorade
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
