So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
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Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
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You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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