Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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