I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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