Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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