guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
