idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
she told me i tasted like america
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
