Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Randomize
