please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
love makes seman taste better
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
