I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
