Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Randomize