If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
