Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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