i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
