Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
