dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
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You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
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Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
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