She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
