The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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