hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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