I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
