I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize