WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
