I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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