I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
